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Tuesday
Aug182009

6 annoying Facebook stereotypes

I have such a love/hate relationship with Facebook. It provides an endless stream of both entertainment and disgust yet i just can't stop logging in. The things that drive me crazy the most are the ridiculous status updates. Boy are they annoying. Here are some that top my most hated list:

1. The "missionary"
This person makes it their mission in life to spread their religious beliefs via their facebook updates. This accomplishes nothing other than further alienating anyone they may want to save while being cheered on by other believers.

2. The "big event bragger"
These people assume we are deeply concerned about how many more sleeps they have until their big cottage vacation. On the bright side, they are certain to announce when they will be away so we can safely ransack their houses.

3. The "The insecure attention seeker"
These people need comments & attention STAT!. An example status update might look like: " worst day ever!" or " is sad". Apparently these people hope to get enough pity or cheers such that their daily drama can match that of the best soap operas.

4. The "social media maven"
These people are updating all their social media status messages at once using tools like ping.fm. Heads up, lazy random out-of-place status update incoming!!!

5. The "marketer of minutia"
These folks will be sure you to let know that they are eating breakfast, just watched the latest episode of True Blood or how much they love their boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/dog/cat etc.

6. The "exclamationer"!!!!!!!
These people end literally every sentence with an exclamation. Similar to #3 and #5, these people have a sad idea of what is exciting or dramatic in life but try to make up for it with bad punctuation.

Please feel free to add any others i've missed in the comments.

Reader Comments (13)

Seriously! Who needs the added drama (#3), opinionated philosophy (#1), or better yet - what about those people looking for feedback about which Prada purse to buy? Okay, maybe I'm guilty of any of these to some extent... Still, my ultimate faves are those people who only update their status in ALL CAPS! I mean, who are you, Billy Mays? (From the grave?!)

LOL, thanks for posting this, got a good chuckle from it.

August 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

@Susan - yeah the "all caps" updater is a good one too!

August 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDavid Schultz

Hmm...can't think of any more to add but here's a question: Given all of the above, what makes a good and interesting status update?

August 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeah Backus

How about the ghetto updates? I can't stand to read (or try to read) tirades about their latest drama where every other word is an expletive. Leave that for Jerry Springer and pick up a dictionary or a book on grammar.

August 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBriana

@Leah Its a good question. Until I figure that out though I've made an agreement with myself not to do any more status updates.

@Briana yeah "the dyslexic" was on the shortlist, definitely another great one.

August 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDavid

I am #2 for concerts and musical things.

And TOTALLY #1. ;-)

August 18, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersofie

Dave, I think someone stole your idea:

http://www.cnn.com/2009/TECH/08/20/annoying.facebook.updaters/index.html?iref=mpstoryview

My most hated from this list is the sympathy-baiter (very similar to your #3). I also can't stand it when people divulge really personal stuff in their status updates. Too much self-disclosure!

August 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeila

@Leila - yeah i saw that too re: the CNN story. Jen and I were actually talking about the 'TMI' status updater last night lol - another good one.

August 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDavid Schultz

I'm hating all the fracken # in people status and @.

If I wanted twitter, i'd fracken sign up for it!

August 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJoao Lopez

to Joao Lopez: It might be annoying if you use a word created by a television show in a manner that Briana mentioned before.

October 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterpodoty

Finally! Someone who understands.

March 14, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjdrab9er

[...] many sleeps until their fucking vacation or how hard their P90x workout was. Bub-bye. (note, see my post on Facebook stereotypes for more fun with [...]

"10 more likes and I'll add something to my shitty band page that you've never even clicked on"

April 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStatutory Ray

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